Memoirs Of J

Yesterday at dinner, Julia told me that her apples were too hot.  The conversation went something  like this….

Me:  Julia, eat your apples please.

J:  Oh no!

Me:  You need to eat and these are good [I take a bite].  See?  Yum!

J:  It’s hot!

Me:  What?

J:  No!  It’s hot! [Tosses an apple slice across the table]

These were normal sliced apples.  Not baked apples or anything like that.  If anything they were slightly chilled.  This kid is evidently not talented in the excuse-making realm yet, which I suppose is a good thing.

Also recently, we’ve been working on colors, body part names, and so forth.  J was sitting on my lap when I asked her what color is mommy’s hair.  She tilted her head inquisitively, then pointed to my part and exclaimed “that’s gray!”  I immediately assumed Curtis had something to do with teaching her to say that; an accusation he promptly denied (while laughing hysterically).  It turns out everyone’s hair is ‘gray’ right now including her own (according to her), but still… I gasped when she effectively called me an old hag.

So I’m a slacker… it’s been nearly a month since I’ve updated.  I have no excuse other than the fact that I am boring.   I almost had my writing knack back (the one where you rhyme everything I guess) too but then I slipped back into taking my zoloft.  Yay.  These pills basically numb me to the point that I don’t really feel much of anything.  No anxiety or sadness for no reason which is definitely nice, but it also seems to kill any positive feelings as well.  And creativity.  I was just thinking today about all of the oh-so-droll fake news stories I used to write back in the day, along with short stories or even a freaking blog every few days.  Now?  Nothing… I sometimes feel like I’m just this shell of a person going  through the motions.  As a result of not wanting to feel like a zombie anymore, I started weaning myself off of these pills several weeks ago.  I started taking 1/2 pill instead of a whole, then after awhile I took 1/2 only every other day instead of every day.  It seemed to be working too.  I had all these ideas in my head for what to write about,  started to really enjoy reading again  (I’ve had a short attention span as of late and get bored easily), and most importantly started feeling – just feeling.  Then of course – true to form – I get slammed back into reality just when everything seems to be going along smoothly, with no real worries.  Don’t want to get into why now, so long story short I started taking these damn pills again and now it’s back to being a husk.  I suppose one positive side-effect though is anxiety completely kills my appetite, and I’ve been looking to shed a few pounds so there’s a window of opportunity…