Memoirs Of J

I made the mistake of feeding the tots peanut butter & jelly sandwiches for lunch today.  C gleefully proceeds to peel her bread apart to scoop out the jelly with her fingers.  She spreads the strawberry jelly all over face like war paint and shoots her little brown eyed glares at me when I ask her what the heck she is doing.  I let this go on for about 15 minutes before before giving up on the prospect of her actually ingesting any morsel of food, and start wiping her sticky little fingers while she squirms and yells “nooooo!!” at me.  Once free from this high chair, she runs out of the kitchen squealing something about “bababababaaa” and I start cleaning up.  Not 2 minutes later, she comes back and start pounding on the panty and grunting, which is baby language for “may I please have something to eat.”  So I’m like arraghh oh my god, fine, and give her some peanut butter crackers and tell her to go sit down at the small table.  She obliges and by now my lunch of asparagus and potato wedges are ready.  I sit down and start eating and that little piglet perks up at the sight of my plate – just my plate without even seeing what was on it- and makes a beeline straight for me.  Drops her crackers on the floor and pulverizes them with her feet as she trots her way across the room as fast as she can.  She says “ahmm?  ahmmm?” and looks at me curiously, head cocked to the side.  No way, I tell her, you just had your chance and did nothing but play with your food.  Must not be hungry, eh?  But nope, now she’s sticking her grubby little paws into my asparagus.  What the hell…ok,I think. You can have asparagus.  It’s healthy and I can’t complain.  I let her take a stalk and she sticks it in her mouth, swirls it around a little, then gingerly hands this saliva/ snot covered (yeah, she’s oozing) piece of asparagus back to me.  She ended up doing the same thing with a potato wedge and tried to repeat the process via grunting and pointing at the same food she had just finished oozing on and handing back.