Memoirs Of J

While driving home from Lowe’s this afternoon (had to get a few keys copied), I encountered (or should I say, was encountered by) some twat in a black Cadillac.

I was approaching the intersection of Willoughby and Aurelius.  There was a car in the intersection waiting to turn left.  The light changed to red and the car did not go – he just sort of sat there almost in the way of cross traffic.  The ass in the black Caddy rolls up behind me (remember, the light is red by now) honking his horn and waving his arms frantically about.  I didn’t give too much thought to it at this point – I was a little amused and just thought “what an impatient asshole” before putting my focus back on the light,  waiting for it to change.

A minute or two later, the light changed to green and the left-turning guy finally went.  I proceeded through the intersection, entering a residential area in which the speed limit is 35mph.  And I obey the limits here because I’ve been pulled over in this area more times that I’d want to admit!

So how do you think black-caddy reacted to being stuck behind someone going the snail’s pace of 35?  Not great.  He rode my ass through the entire no passing zone.  Since I hate tailgaters, I deliberately checked my speed to make sure I was not going even the slightest bit over the limit.  I was, so I slowed down to precisely 35 and set my cruise.  Black-caddy asshole is again waving his arms at this point, undoubtedly mid-tantrum and swearing out loud.

I maintained my speed despite his impatience.  Don’t tailgaters realize that the act of tailgating usually pisses people off so they’ll slow down if anything?  No one is going to suddenly speed off because you are right on top of them.  When there finally was a passing zone, guess what?  There were several cars coming from the other direction so passing wasn’t possible.  B-C was, amusingly, flailing his arms and possibly even pounding on his steering wheel.

I decided to turn into the 2nd entrance of my neighborhood because I was afraid the guy might have some anger issues and try to follow me or something.  I don’t want some psycho seeing where I live (hey, you can never be too careful).  I quickly learned, however, that B-C wasn’t going to follow me.  No, instead he turned into the church right across the street from our neighborhood!

So this aggressive, no-patience f*ck was driving in an outraged fury to get to church?  Wow, is that what Jesus would have done?