Memoirs Of J

This weekend was busy and filled with lots of fun stuff!

On Saturday afternoon, we took J to the Country Mill orchard and cider mill.  They had goats, ducks, ponies, and chickens that J enjoyed quacking at.  She seems to call all animals “quack quack” so… yeah.  And she didn’t think the goats were all that great even though they were letting people pet them.  She liked the fowl.  We let her run around and play a little bit in the straw, then she went on the swing which she loved.

After she was sufficiently worn out, we went in the mill – it smelled fantastic in there.  Cider, donuts… yum.  We ended up getting a gallon of cider, six donuts, a container of apple cheese spread (it tastes better than it sounds), and a bottle of cherry apple wine.  They had a wine tasting counter where you could sample the three wines they make right on site – it was only $2 and you got to keep the glass so we did it.  We paid for all our stuff and went back outside to pick out pumpkins.  J loved the pumpkins and picked a small one.  So we bought two pumpkins – hers and mine, and we’ll carve them soon.

After leaving the mill, we went home to watch the MSU vs. UofM game where we enjoyed a Spartan Victory!!  We had some cheese bread from Happy’s, which was actually delicious.  Their pizza is disgusting, but the bread – yum!

Finally (for Saturday), me and a couple of friends had an evening planned at the Slaughterhouse – a haunted attraction in Fowlerville.  They put on a haunted maze, haunted hayride, and haunted barn.  Feeling a little apprehensive, we chugged some wine in the car after finding a parking spot, working up a nice buzz.  We decided we’d work our way up to the scariest thing, so would do the hayride first.  It was fun!  Not very scary -there were a couple of startlings with characters jumping up on the tractor, but mostly it was just props in the woods.  They had  a big space ship, which was … unique.

After hopping off the tractor, we went right into the corn maze.  The entrance to it was right there and there was no line at all, unlike the hayride which was maybe 30 minutes.  I was completely freaked.  The first thing you do when entering is squeeze your way through this vagina-like opening in a small shed.  Weird… then you get out and and it’s so quiet and eerie.  All you can see is corn stalks, and it was dark so we couldn’t even  see them very well.  There were lots of scares in the corn – guys jumping out and following us, little dark buildings to go through, a bridge that looked (and sounded) like a log saw.

So the maze was actually a lot of fun.  I think I was most afraid of it because I thought since it was a maze, we’d get lost and keep getting followed by freaky guys with chainsaws or something but there was really only one part of the maze where you got turned around a little.  And that part did have freaky guys with chainsaws at both paths… so we basically were shitting our pants.

We survived though and stumbled out of the corn field, on our way to the barn for the last haunt.  We waited in line for maybe 20 minutes before getting up to the front where the staff person asked us if we would mind going with the group of three behind us.  We said we didn’t want to – it’s just not as good when you have more people, and we didn’t know these people so why would we want that?  We paid $30 to do all three and wanted our frights!  She let us go alone, despite the griping from the fat chicks behind us about “waiting 6 hours” which we found retarded – yeah nice hyperbole, dorks.  If you’re next in line you have like 5 minutes.  No big deal.

The haunted barn was awesome though – right upon entering they had one of those black-light tunnels that makes you feel like you are spinning and unable to walk.  Unlike other haunted houses I’ve been to that just have you walk through a dark hallway with people dressed in black jumping out and loud bangs occasionally, this one had rooms with themes.  Right away you met satan and had to sign away your soul and put it in a bucket – of course the bucket flung open with a guy jumping out.

I don’t remember all the rooms, but one that really stood out was the movie room.  You enter a room with a tv and a couple of chairs, and a scary guy.  He tells you it’s time to watch a movie and made us sit down.  Well The Ring starts playing and we’re all screaming because that is hands-down the creepiest movie ever.  Then the tv bursts open with that long-haired girl from The Ring crawling out, strobe lights going, and next thing you know she’s right at our chair hovering.  OOh it was scary!  I think I lost my voice in this room.

The other really memorable room was the room that inflated –  we called it another vagina room.  You go in and the plastic walls just start filling with air, squeezing in.  You have to push and struggle your way through – it was intense.  I’m pretty sure we all have bruises from grabbing each other so hard.  Of course at the very end when you finally step outside again, a couple of guys in hockey masks casually step out then chase you with their chain saws.

Exhilarating…  I love haunted houses and I love this time of year!