Today I was a little bored and day-dreamy, so was reflecting upon my- shall I say – overall negative judgments when it comes to certain people. Most people some of the time, I should clarify. And sadly some people all of the time, but that’s reserved for the dumbest of the dumb (Mistletoe).
Specifically what started me on this thought (other than utter boredom) was Mistletoe. He’s such a clueless bumbling idiot, doing things that make no sense to any sane and rational person. Of course, I’m the first to call him out on it (and equally obvious, not to his face but instead to everyone else around me because I’m P.A. like that), declaring his transparent intent and how he must think we’re all stupid. I mean the games he plays are so juvenile that no one could possibly be fooled. Might want to up the sophistication just a tad if you really want people to believe your lies, you know?
So anyway, I got on the track of thinking about my negative thoughts of him (deservedly so, but negative nonetheless) and noted that I at least occasionally have what one might consider a negative judgment about most everyone I know! I guess this is only natural, I mean you are never going to agree 100% with everyone you know on every topic. That would make things really boring.
But then sometimes an issue or argument will come up that leaves you incredulously thinking “what the fuck are you thinking?” in response to something the person does or says. It really leaves you wondering on what information they are basing their stance or actions. And this is where the judgments come into play.
I’ll find myself thinking “are you a fucking idiot?” or, “did you receive even a cursory elementary education?”, or maybe even “your opinion is so stupid that it makes me wonder if you are clinically delusional.” These are just a few examples of the meanest; I seem to temper myself much more when the other person is a friend or family member or someone I otherwise care about. Mistletoe? Well no so much.
Eventually today, I came to the obvious realization that if I always have a reason for my opinions and actions, then so does everyone else. These two perspectives may be in conflict. So if I’m having the reactions I have, it makes me wonder what they’re thinking about me when I say or do something they don’t agree with.
I really want to know. I’m way too curious but I know that there’s no way to get it out of people because people tend to be extremely passive aggressive with others. It’s driving me batty – everyone I know talks to me about other people, so you have to assume that most of them are talking to other people about me too. Everyone is blabbing about everyone else, passing judgments.
I’m too curious for my own good sometimes, but I think finding out the answer to this question is my next project.
