Memoirs Of J

I think men are selectively blind when it comes to clutter or messes.  A minority of women are too, sure (I’ve lived with some), but probably 94% of all men are.  Don’t ask me for sourcing on that statistic as it’s just an OMA (outta my ass) number , but I’d bet that it’s scarily accurate.  And hey, if I – el cheapo – put money on something, you know I’m very confident.

Like, ok, say you – a woman -are toiling away wiping counters and putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher.  You aren’t hiding or being conspicuous in any way.  You may even be angrily tossing silverware into the tray, who knows.  All household occupants see you doing this.  You finish cleaning up, close the dishwasher without starting it because it isn’t full, and start taking care of other things (sweeping the floor or some such chore).  A man walks in, places a dish or a cup ON THE COUNTER, and walks away.  What the hell?!?!  Hello?  Am I working in an alternate dimension or something?  I don’t get it.

Or maybe the trash is full to the brim.  A woman typically does not allow it to fill to the brim.  She’ll change it out before it becomes a pain in the ass to lift the bag out without spilling shit all over the floor, or if it stinks at all no matter how full or empty it is.  A man will continue to delicately balance more trash on top.  It could smell like a rotting skunk carcass – it doesn’t matter.  The most effort you will get out of a man is he’ll try to push already pluming trash mountain down further, which does nothing but exacerbate the woman’s frustration later when she is the one who has to wrestle that shit out of the bin with it ripping  open and spilling everywhere.

Once in awhile, a woman may, against her own best interests, get fed up and try to leave the dirty dishes reeking on the counter, or the trash full with no room to throw more trash in.  She does this in hopes of making the man notice what she does (that dishes don’t float themselves to and from the dishwasher, for instance), and that a little help in simply keeping an already clean house tidy is appreciated.  Not to clean it, but just to NOT DIRTY it up!!  This tactic works exactly zero percent of the time.

I really think that heterosexual men who live alone must be sitting in squalid filth, trash on the floor, no clean dish in the house to speak of.  Their toilet has probably never been sanitized – ever.  You’d be lucky if you only saw a couple  brown stains festering on the toilet rim.  And the worst part is that they probably don’t even realize that their place is a sty!