Memoirs Of J

There are some things that just revolt you & snots are probably one of them.  Namely, snots belonging to another person.  What’s the non-slang term for snots anyway?   Never really thought about that before… anyhow, yeah, they’re disgusting.

This disgust towards snots is just something you accept blindly.  It’s a universal trait.  Well  until you have kids, that is.  Never in my life did I think that one day I’d pick a snot out of a kid’s nose like it’s nothing and just go about my business.  But that’s what happens when you have a little kid.

My kid seems to produce extra nasal mucus (yeah there’s the term I was looking for earlier) when she’s in the bathtub.  A typical bath goes something like this:

Julia:  [playing in tub, splashing around]

Me:  Julia, let me wipe your nose.  Look at me!

Julia:  No!! [thrashes around, turns away]

Me:  [grabs tissue, does a quick swipe in the general vicinity of her nose.  Calls it good even though it’s not.]

This happens a couple more times during the bath, then it’s time to get out and dry off.  This, my friends, is the perfect time to clean out that plugged little nose.  She’s laying on the floor wrapped tightly in her frog towel while I rub and pat her dry.  While she’s still bundled, I grab another tissue and start working the nose with the precision of a surgeon to remove her mucus that I see up in there even better now that she’s laying down and I can see far up into her nostrils.

I have to work quickly though, as she starts rolling and squirming as soon as she sees that kleenex in her peripheral vision.  So I have a tissue wrapped around one finger and I start pinching, poking, wiping, and digging to remove all of her crusty old snots.  She’s pissed at this point, but wait.  Success!  I triumphantly admire the fruits of my labor briefly before tossing the tissue in the toilet.

I mean this is just absurd, right?  I would never, never, ever wipe another person’s nose, let alone dig something out of it.  But it’s like since she’s my kid, it just doesn’t phase me at all.  It’s so weird.  And I’ve noticed that this isn’t the only thing that I’d normally deem unacceptable.

Fascinating.