Memoirs Of J

I found myself almost –almost – kissing some  ass  at work today.  Now, I’ve got a long history of scoffing at the ass-kissers, sycophants, obsequious fools…whatever you want to call them and I’m not about to just abandon that.  I like scoffing too much and it amuses me to laugh at people, primarily 23-year-old newbies groveling at management’s feet, lips secured tightly to ass.  So I guess groveling at ass, not feet.  ‘Groveling at feet’ is obviously a euphemism.  The lips attached to ass is sadly only a very slight exaggeration of reality.

So anyway, our department is going through this ‘sourcing’ initiative as we speak, and by that I of course mean outsourcing work to India.  We are told we have plenty of work to keep everyone employed, which I suppose is really all I actually care about in regards to my job.  I’m not hugely worried about the prospect of layoffs, especially after a chat I had a few weeks ago with our department head, then today with my own supervisor.  But you can never be too cautious, so I’ve been taking extra care to get my name out there (ie, in front of managers / execs who don’t already know me) in a positive light.

I volunteered to work in a community service tent for our department picnic.  Not really my bag considering my generally unsocial disposition, but execs seeing my name attached to this sort of thing shows I’m  ‘energized and engaged’ or whatever.  Well today was a party to celebrate the success of the picnic where we could chat with the execs and eat cake.

I gotta say I was quite proud of my performance today.  All chatty and outgoing and so … unlike me.  I wonder when I developed this ability because I really never had it before.  It must just naturally appear after so long working in an office.